jenpri

 I love traveling, who doesn't. But not everyone enjoys traveling with dangerous and drastic events. (well not so drastic, I think I’m exaggerating).  So my ex-partner asked me to travel with her, and after coordinating with my daughter to come over from her city to be with my little pet, I decided to go on this trip with her. Didn't tell anyone, in fact I almost forgot about it, until the week arrived, and my daughter reminds me about it. She was looking fwd to coming back home and I got excited to just TRAVEL.  I haven't really TRAVELLED for a LONG TIME, well since Jan 2020.  So I took my mini bag with my stuffs in a carry on luggage and went to work with this. Left for the station by metro and arrived 1.5 hours before time. First thing for me, since I’m a foreigner, I thought I would need ticket and so I stood in the line to get my tickets printed out. Arrived at the counter and the lady is asking for a code, went aside to call my friend.  I gave her many man...

 Starting this article, rather abruptly. Nothing planned in my head, just having some thoughts pouring in and just had to spill it out. So I begin here by talking to whoever this might resonates, no specific person (though i have one specific person in MY MIND to whom I have directing this to-you know yourself). Last night I receive an insta post stating that about being an over-thinker, not liking any praises from anyone, saying that how one can be broken, and constantly apologizing. Firstly, when I read this post, I was like HUMM, is the writer putting oneself down, or looking for love from others, or doesn't know how precious they are to their own loved one. Having all these thoughts, I started thinking, HOLY COW, I’m also over thinking. YES, I’m also an over thinker, and thats why, I wake up first thing on Sunday morning, and penning this down at 7am. That's my wonderful SLEEP time, but my monkey mind had to have thoughts and had to pen it down. Does this make me a bad pers...

 So, here I am back in my city, called Ningbo. Nothing to do, except allow time to flow and show me what is next coming for me. Out of the blue, my daughter told me to get a pet. Since I had grown up with a pet, I said "why not". I always wanted a dog, so I began asking around in groups if there was anyone having puppies to give away.  To my utter surprise, someone approached me to care for a kitten. They had many to care for and were looking for anyone who would care for this small one. After some mind boggling confusion, we finally decided to go for it and get the small little one.  Before going, we were told to get somethings ready, such as cat bag, cat litter, cat food, cat bed. And here I was,  "I am getting cat and I have added more additional responsibility to myself". Anyways, I still went ahead to purchase them.  The day came to get the little one. We picked her up in a cat bag and took her directly to the vet to have her checked-medically if she was fi...

I just watched a film called Queen, its an Indian film, quite old, about 7-10 years old---- maybe.  Well, the point here that I’m trying to make is the feeling of being trapped and suddenly feeling free. That's what the film was showing, the heroine was feeling trapped, then she encounters the experiences of her life that suddenly changes her thoughts, her feelings and her inner desires.  She suddenly breaks off and feels free and free.  I AM also feeling free, but still feeling trapped. I too want to be free, free to make my own choices, free to choose what I want and where I want to go. Free to just life without feeling trapped in a visa, that is timed.  I could connect with the lady of the film, in the feeling of being free. I could connect with her inner being. I could connect with her heart's yearning of wanting to be free, of wanting to do what I want, of wanting to live where I want, and of wanting to work what job I want.  Right now, I don't know what jo...

 So I am back to home, which is based in China. Yes, I call this my home, coz I have been here for almost 20 years. And so it was for my hubby dear. And who knew that he would one day leave from his own motherland.  But I am diverting from my focus for this write up. I have come back, but my mind and soul doesn't anymore belong here. I am back to work, but my heart isn't. I am amongst my so-called Ningbo friends, but my heart isn't. What's wrong with me???? I want to say that I EVEN DON'T KNOW WHAT WRONG WITH ME. I will probably be here till my daughter completes her university, then what? I actually would like to travel, but where am I going to get the finance to allow me to travel. I don't want to work in this place anymore. I don't want to live here anymore. I want to work for myself now. One thing I have come to realize is that, I don't want pressure. The minute my system feels pressure, I begin itching, a sign of body inflammation.  I don't know...

 Gosh! Why is it so so hard for my mom in law to see some logical sense.  Ok, will begin from the beginning.  After anyone who passes away in this country, a death certificate is issued by the govt. This is an important certificate which is given to the banks and any other legal matters where the deceived's signatures were needed.  SO! We have been waiting for this certificate for over 15 days, and it was told to us that it will come next week. When and which day isn't given. Just next week is been told to us. Now me and daughter are here in this boring city with absolutely nothing to do. I had plans to visit the famous Golden Temple this week and she told me not to go, coz it will come this week. OK, i agreed. Now my daughter is planned on leaving soon, and i want to visit any nice resort just to have a feel of what a resort is in this city. Now she is telling me that i can't and that the certificate will come anytime i am away.  hey, we have been waiting for s...

Starting a new life all over again at the age of 52 is kind of daunting, but its something i have to do.  currently stuck at home in Chennai with mom in law, is relaxing but boring as well. I know people say I should mourn but for how long? Is mourning going to set me to my next part of my journey ? Is mourning going to bring me bread and butter? I don't believe we should stay in this state of mind for long and allow depression to take over our living condition. I have finally learnt what it means when people say, "Life must go ON", and thats exactly what I want as well.  Being bored at home is driving me and my daughter up the wall. If I was in my own place, I would have things to do and keep my mind occupied. Right now, I’m keeping myself occupied by watching movies online (I wouldn't have this time), writing this blog (to which I’m thankful for the time), studying my course (I wouldn't have had the time), relaxing and not cooking (I dislike cooking). WOW! so ma...