jenpri

 So, here I am back in my city, called Ningbo. Nothing to do, except allow time to flow and show me what is next coming for me. Out of the blue, my daughter told me to get a pet. Since I had grown up with a pet, I said "why not". I always wanted a dog, so I began asking around in groups if there was anyone having puppies to give away.  To my utter surprise, someone approached me to care for a kitten. They had many to care for and were looking for anyone who would care for this small one. After some mind boggling confusion, we finally decided to go for it and get the small little one.  Before going, we were told to get somethings ready, such as cat bag, cat litter, cat food, cat bed. And here I was,  "I am getting cat and I have added more additional responsibility to myself". Anyways, I still went ahead to purchase them.  The day came to get the little one. We picked her up in a cat bag and took her directly to the vet to have her checked-medically if she was fi...

I just watched a film called Queen, its an Indian film, quite old, about 7-10 years old---- maybe.  Well, the point here that I’m trying to make is the feeling of being trapped and suddenly feeling free. That's what the film was showing, the heroine was feeling trapped, then she encounters the experiences of her life that suddenly changes her thoughts, her feelings and her inner desires.  She suddenly breaks off and feels free and free.  I AM also feeling free, but still feeling trapped. I too want to be free, free to make my own choices, free to choose what I want and where I want to go. Free to just life without feeling trapped in a visa, that is timed.  I could connect with the lady of the film, in the feeling of being free. I could connect with her inner being. I could connect with her heart's yearning of wanting to be free, of wanting to do what I want, of wanting to live where I want, and of wanting to work what job I want.  Right now, I don't know what jo...

 So I am back to home, which is based in China. Yes, I call this my home, coz I have been here for almost 20 years. And so it was for my hubby dear. And who knew that he would one day leave from his own motherland.  But I am diverting from my focus for this write up. I have come back, but my mind and soul doesn't anymore belong here. I am back to work, but my heart isn't. I am amongst my so-called Ningbo friends, but my heart isn't. What's wrong with me???? I want to say that I EVEN DON'T KNOW WHAT WRONG WITH ME. I will probably be here till my daughter completes her university, then what? I actually would like to travel, but where am I going to get the finance to allow me to travel. I don't want to work in this place anymore. I don't want to live here anymore. I want to work for myself now. One thing I have come to realize is that, I don't want pressure. The minute my system feels pressure, I begin itching, a sign of body inflammation.  I don't know...