Blessing for the end and a new Beginning.

 Its been 1 week now for husband's demise. Yes, 1 week already! How do I feel? I don't know! I am not feeling happy nor do i feel sad. I knew his time was coming soon, but I was still waiting and hoping to see him, but I guess he didn't want us (both me and my daughter) to see him in the last stage of his illness. According to my neighbor, he wasn't doing so well. He had lost weight drastically, and was bones. He wasn't eating so well, had a lot of breathing problems and was depending on getting extra oxygen from the cylinder and the oxygen concentrator, wasn't having enough water, and was unable to speak and sit up for long. His cousin had recently passed away, and I guess when he heard that news, he couldn't take that blow. I know its cruel of me to say this, but he has been released from his painful state of physical body. He was in miserable pain and needed medications to numb the body pain. 

His illness was progressing but slow while he was with me in China. While in China, he was also taking TCM, which was indirectly helping to keep him mood uplifted. Plus, I had learnt to become a great comical person to him, I would see and find some funny things in everything he saw negative. 

No doubt, my husband wasn't exactly an open-minded person and had more negative perspectives than positive view points. Not only did he have this trait, he was partially orthodox, especially when he was told to do somethings by his relatives. 

I believe meditations could have helped him. Not to cure him from his illness but to release him from his constant negative belief outlook from his illness. There was nothing that could have been done for him but by not seeing and taking opinions from other specialists, could have probably helped him accept his condition and make some life style changes to slow down the illness. He had a blind folded believe in one doctor, and didn't want to see or consult another doctor. And the by the time he realized this, the damage was done. There was nothing that I could do to shake him from seeing another doctor. My sister found one well experienced doctor from my city, and she recommended that I get husband to have an online consultation with him, BUT he absolutely REFUSED. Well, when a person has already made up their mind for something, how can the universe help them, the universe will also comply and say, "as you wish, son". 

I wish him a healthy and better life in his next re-birth. I pray that he gets a happier home, a home with positive minded parents and relatives for him to grow. I pray that he has good wealth and doesn't have to struggle too much to save his earnings. I pray that he knows how to value family life and balance it. I pray that he enjoys his next rebirth with a happier and healthier mind set and healthy appropriate living conditions.

I wish him the best for next adventure of life. Amen !!!.